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P Money's College Pick 'Em
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What a crazy weekend of college football. Florida State lost to Clemson, Oklahoma posted double-craps on Texas A&M, and Miami's Kellen Winslow Jr was so tired from fighting in Iraq that his Miami squad only scored six points on Tennessee. The BCS should get a bit clearer this weekend, because if all of the teams in college football are killed this weekend, SMU will be playing itself in the Sugar Bowl.
Minnesota (17) vs Iowa (20) Joe Tiller's Boilermakers, with a little help from Chad Allen and Shannen Doherty, beat the Hawkeyes handily last week in a Big Ten showdown. Now that Ms. Doherty has set her sight's on her husband's porno flick with Paris Hilton, Iowa tries to gear up for another showdown, this time with the surprising 9-2 Minnesota Gophers. They play for some sort of trophy in this one, possibly The Golden Tractor, but it can't be cooler than last week, when Minnesota kicked a field goal as time expired to win some sort of axe from Wisconsin. Oh, those crazy Corn Belters. Iowa 19, Minnesota 14 Purdue (10) vs Ohio State (4) If Ohio State wins out, they will most likely play Oklahoma in the Sugar Bowl. If Purdue wins out and Michigan beats Ohio State, then Purdue goes to the Rose Bowl. If Purdue wins out, wins the Rose Bowl, and finds Saddam Hussein, the San Diego Chargers will still wish they'd drafted Michael Vick as they watch 55-year-old Doug Flutie consistenly perform better at quarterback that Purdue alum Drew Brees. OSU 28, Purdue 16 Baylor vs Oklahoma (1) You know the story: the Sooners put 77 points on the board against the Aggies, who scored 76 against Baylor. However, that was back when Baylor was still reeling from their horrible basketball scandal/murder from this past summer. Actually, they were reeling because that story posted the highest SportsCenter-coverage-to-number-of-Americans-who-give-a-rat's-ass ratio in history, narrowly edging out Michael Jordan's tenth retirement. Look for big plays by Oklahoma's Mark Clayton; maybe with this Clayton, Dan Marino would have won a Superbowl instead of doing Isotoner commercials. Oklahoma 56, Mike Lupica is a BITCH Michigan (5) vs Northwestern Gotta love my Wolverines; probably the only team on the planet with a chance to keep it close against Oklahoma, yet they won't get a chance because they lost to freakin Oregon. Without Dan Fouts. Michigan's John Navarre, the worst Good Quarterback ever, continues to stand tall in his tenth season. Man, this is just one of those Michigan games I get a bad feeling about. Michigan 27, Northwestern 21 NC State vs Florida State (11) I'm pretty sure this game is very important to the ACC standings, but I can't get pumped up for it. I just can't believe in Florida State. I remember one time my friend's roommate, who was a borderline-retarded Chippendale's dancer, trying to convince me that FSU is not in fact a party school because they have one of the top meteorology school's in the country. Nice try, Swayze. They do in fact have some hot ladies, however.  FSU 10, NC State 9 Kansas State (25) vs Nebraska (15) The Wildcats haven't beaten anyone this year with a winning record, but my guess is that they'll win this game to clinch the Big 12 North and claim honors to get smoked by Oklahoma. On the other hand, Nebraska may win. It could go either way. Ladies and gentlemen, Beano Cook! Kansas State 38, Nebraska 17 Pittsburgh (16) vs West Virginia Have you ever seen the movie "Wrong Turn"? It stars PBR favorite Eliza Dushku and it's about a bunch of people who get stranded in the back woods of West Virginia and are murdered by mutant inbreds. Everyone in West Virginia is inbred? The injustice! I can't believe nobody from WV caused a stink when this movie came out, I mean it was just released this spring, during Moonshine Harvest. I predict Larry Fitzgerald will catch three touchdowns and throw for seven, just to show off. Pittsburgh 44, WVU 35 USC (2) vs Arizona Trojan quarterback Matt Leinert has quietly matched the stats of last year's Heisman winner Carson Palmer. Arizona quarterback Kris Keavner has quietly matched the stats of this year's Kordell Stewart. That is not good. I've got a hunch that Kordell's not gonna amount to much of a ballplayer. USC 65, Arizona 9 SUN BELT GAME OF THE WEEK Arkansas St vs North Texas Man, the Mean Green barely got by Louisiana Monroe last week, but much like the 2002 champion Buckeyes, they just find a way to win. Arkansas State has won two in a row, including a nail biter last week against my alma mater, Idaho. The only real way to fully analyze this game is to find a hot chick from Arkansas State. Hmmm...the internet is not abuzz with pictures of the Arkansas State women. That is, most pictures have frat dudes in them. Gotta give the nod to the Eagles. 
North Texas 41, Arkansas State 16 P-Money |
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